Saturday, December 16, 2006
Hey…it’s been a long time and yeah a lot has happened. I’m pretty sure you know by now my boxing career is all over. Vincent decided to fix the fight, and yes I got to the truth, but now I’m back to square one career wise. Have been looking around for work but you know it’s hard for a ex-con to get a shot and the publicity from the fight isn’t helping. I was cleared by the boxing commission but that career is over. No more endorsements, or my dream to open up a gym of my own, or the good I wanted to do for the young kids growing up like I did in Angel Square. Man I wanted to really make a difference. Now that dream is gone.
Evangeline has been terrific, she is too good that woman, and she just wants me to be happy and nope no pressure about the job. I know I shouldn’t make such a big deal about it. I’ve got it pretty good with a woman that stands by me, but I need to find something for me. I’m feeling frustrated with myself. I want to be a on the road to something not sidetracked and yeah sometimes I feel kind of hopeless. Antonio offered to help and I wouldn’t mind some of his money but I want to make my fortune on my own.
I’m trying to see if I can paint using my other hand, don’t know if that is going to fly, but I have to try. Art is still very much a part of me, and how I express what I feel, and not having it in my life makes me feel half alive. Antonio was right I do sometimes focus on what I don’t have and not enough on what I do but I’m a man! I need to work for me and for my future with Evangeline. I want to be able to give her things, and I know she’d say all she needs is me, and that makes me feel good, but I need this for me…I need to find a way to make a living, and feel that focus I felt when I was boxing. Man I hated that happened with Ted and Vincent, but it taught me to watch very closely who I trust, and never put my fate or future in the hands of someone else.
But yeah Antonio was right I’ve got a fantastic woman, who thinks I’m all of that as I do her, but I’m going to find work, and I’m going to get what I want a life and a family I can support but first a career I can be proud of… tired of wanting things I can’t have time for me to make it happen…yeah I’m not giving up, I’m just getting started.
Cristian Vega
Evangeline has been terrific, she is too good that woman, and she just wants me to be happy and nope no pressure about the job. I know I shouldn’t make such a big deal about it. I’ve got it pretty good with a woman that stands by me, but I need to find something for me. I’m feeling frustrated with myself. I want to be a on the road to something not sidetracked and yeah sometimes I feel kind of hopeless. Antonio offered to help and I wouldn’t mind some of his money but I want to make my fortune on my own.
I’m trying to see if I can paint using my other hand, don’t know if that is going to fly, but I have to try. Art is still very much a part of me, and how I express what I feel, and not having it in my life makes me feel half alive. Antonio was right I do sometimes focus on what I don’t have and not enough on what I do but I’m a man! I need to work for me and for my future with Evangeline. I want to be able to give her things, and I know she’d say all she needs is me, and that makes me feel good, but I need this for me…I need to find a way to make a living, and feel that focus I felt when I was boxing. Man I hated that happened with Ted and Vincent, but it taught me to watch very closely who I trust, and never put my fate or future in the hands of someone else.
But yeah Antonio was right I’ve got a fantastic woman, who thinks I’m all of that as I do her, but I’m going to find work, and I’m going to get what I want a life and a family I can support but first a career I can be proud of… tired of wanting things I can’t have time for me to make it happen…yeah I’m not giving up, I’m just getting started.
Cristian Vega
posted by CV at 5:05 PM
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