Saturday, December 16, 2006

Hey…it’s been a long time and yeah a lot has happened. I’m pretty sure you know by now my boxing career is all over. Vincent decided to fix the fight, and yes I got to the truth, but now I’m back to square one career wise. Have been looking around for work but you know it’s hard for a ex-con to get a shot and the publicity from the fight isn’t helping. I was cleared by the boxing commission but that career is over. No more endorsements, or my dream to open up a gym of my own, or the good I wanted to do for the young kids growing up like I did in Angel Square. Man I wanted to really make a difference. Now that dream is gone.

Evangeline has been terrific, she is too good that woman, and she just wants me to be happy and nope no pressure about the job. I know I shouldn’t make such a big deal about it. I’ve got it pretty good with a woman that stands by me, but I need to find something for me. I’m feeling frustrated with myself. I want to be a on the road to something not sidetracked and yeah sometimes I feel kind of hopeless. Antonio offered to help and I wouldn’t mind some of his money but I want to make my fortune on my own.

I’m trying to see if I can paint using my other hand, don’t know if that is going to fly, but I have to try. Art is still very much a part of me, and how I express what I feel, and not having it in my life makes me feel half alive. Antonio was right I do sometimes focus on what I don’t have and not enough on what I do but I’m a man! I need to work for me and for my future with Evangeline. I want to be able to give her things, and I know she’d say all she needs is me, and that makes me feel good, but I need this for me…I need to find a way to make a living, and feel that focus I felt when I was boxing. Man I hated that happened with Ted and Vincent, but it taught me to watch very closely who I trust, and never put my fate or future in the hands of someone else.

But yeah Antonio was right I’ve got a fantastic woman, who thinks I’m all of that as I do her, but I’m going to find work, and I’m going to get what I want a life and a family I can support but first a career I can be proud of… tired of wanting things I can’t have time for me to make it happen…yeah I’m not giving up, I’m just getting started.

Cristian Vega

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Life is so good. Evangeline and I have been through so much together finally it looks like we are going to be okay. Evangeline can see! I’m training for the boxing match with Abbott, and if I can just compensate with my left hand, and win this fight it will be the start of so much more. Yeah I want the money. It will mean I can help the people of Angel Square and I can finally have the means to do what I want with my life. I was inspired to buy a gym one day because after prison it was my safe haven, and the place I got my shot to be a boxer. Yeah couldn’t get a job if I tried, but at the gym I got a contract and a shot at something more. I was fortunate.

Well I was really fortunate from the moment Evangeline walked into that prison. I didn’t know then how important she would become in my life. Now I know. Funny the romantic evening didn’t go as planned it went way better. Evangeline hesitant at first to take our relationship one more step, and I understood. I didn’t want her to feel pressured after all we had all the time in the world. I’m not saying I wasn’t happy she changed her mind, but if she hadn’t been ready for us…I would have understood.

Training more now than ever and was a little surprised how corny the promotion of my fight was but I know it is all about the publicity, and if I’m doing this and doing it right I’ll have to deal with the cornball things Vincent has to do. It was nice though having my mother and my Evangeline out in the crowd smiling proudly at me even Layla looked happy. I was glad I decided to announce my plans to donate part of my purse to youth of “Angel Square” I just want to give other kids like I used to be the chance for so much more. I might even ask Evangeline to set up a fund for the youth of Angel Square so that every time I win, they do too.

You know every morning I get up with a goofy grin and now it is so much worse, and that would be because of my “Tigre” Evangeline. She is an amazing woman, loving and compassionate and so sexy I have whistle in appreciation of this beautiful and sexy woman before I think about it, and the kicker she loves me as much as I love her. I panicked for a minute when she wanted more. I do too. Just not right now.

I need to do some things for me career wise, and begin to redeem my life and the tragedy I was responsible for when Hesser had my mind almost destroyed to do his bidding. Yeah I know it wasn’t all my fault but the fact remains I took a man’s life and I need to make retribution for that despite the circumstances. I’m not going to erase the past but I’m going to make sure that I make a difference with the second chance I’ve been given.

The added bonus will be seeing the smile of pride on Evangeline’s and my families faces, and then I’ll know I’ve succeeded. Don’t have any more time. I need to go to training. Yes life is good. I have a career about to take off. A good woman in my life I’m crazy about, and my family is doing pretty good, except for Adrianna. Antonio said he would keep me up to date about her and let me know when she’s found. I’m hoping she just went away to think and everything and she is okay. I’ll say a prayer she returns safe. Off to training and on to preparing for the fight, and yeah life is pretty good.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

It's late I stayed at the hospital as long as Evangeline let me. She insisted I go home and get some rest. Nope she didn't share the chocolates, but the tortilla's were shared. I've never laughed so much in my life. We have so much to share, to enjoy. I know I'm way too happy. I'm looking foward to the fight, and mostly taking her home.

We've both spent far too much time in hospitals. I didn't tell her about my proposal for taking a trip later, didn't have time. Too busy just looking at her, loving her and thanking God she's been given her sight back. Evangeline is so funny, she can crack a joke and I'll have to think about it before it hits, she's smart. I like that about her too. She told me about Starr, she's worried for Todd and Blair. She's right that family has been through a lot. I feel sorry for them. I'd not wish Todd's or Blair's pain on any parent.

It did make me think about children. Evangeline's and mine. I wonder if they will look like her or me, or maybe both of us. Yeah I see kids. Not right away but I'd want maybe a boy or a girl. Doesn't matter as long as the kid's healthy. I enjoy my niece Jamie so much and I'd like to have a family of my own someday.

Well right now I'll just concentrate on getting Evangeline home, that fight and the rest well all in time.

Cristian

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Training has been brutal. Evangeline insisted she'd be fine now and that I should concentrate on getting ready for the upcoming fight. She said if she needed anything Layla would be on call. It was hard to leave her but she's right, I need to train. I've been working on strategies to compensate for my weakened hand, I hope it works. Off to shower and to visit the hospital. I promised Evangeline I'd come back later. She asked me bring her some chocolates, and some of Mami's tortilla's the hospital food sucks.

Cristian

Monday, August 7, 2006

Evangeline is doing so much better. The doctor’s gave her a good report. I hope to able to take her home with me soon. The uncertainty is over. Now Evangeline can see and can get back to doing what she loves, helping people. Our prayers were answered. I still can’t believe how close I came to losing her, and I don’t intend to let it happen again.

I know we've been given a real gift, one she nor I will take for granted. Evangeline is my reason for smiling, for wanting to really live again. Evangeline will finally be able to see me in the ring fighting. I know if she’s there I’ll win. I feel it. This fight will give me the funds I need to help her pay Todd back. If I’m lucky I’ll have enough left over for us to take a trip. A nice long trip, Llanview is getting way too crowded. Maybe we can plan a short trip after my fight to celebrate her gift, and my victory. Yeah I think big, don't make sense to think you're going to loose, been there and done that. Somehow I feel with Evangeline in my life anything is possible. Anything.

I don’t know if she’d want to go on a trip, but I think we both could use some time alone. It would be nice to go to some nice secluded spot, no phones just her me and whatever we need to survive. I'm thinking Pueto Rico. I am. Just the two of us with no work, and no worries. Right now I just want her home and safe, and soon and very soon isn’t quite soon enough.

Cristian

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

I finally got a minute to breath; I don’t see how Evangeline can take much more. She didn’t say it but she hoped that the operation would work, and so did I. Now more than ever I know that Manning isn’t going to go away he was way too emotional at the failure of the operation, and nasty.

Evangeline finally has taken the final blow, and I don’t know how yet to give her hope again. I do believe she will see again. Call it blind faith or just faith but I believe it. The best thing I can do for her is be there, and give her what she needs, time, space a comforting hug and words that will ignite her fighting spirit. Evangeline is a strong woman but even she has her limits.

Manning has to be checked, and fighting him isn’t the answer. I need to make sure Evangeline can pay him back as soon as possible. Hey I know my hand isn’t good, and it may cost me my future as a painter. I get that. However Evangeline comes first and I’m not going to think beyond the fact that I can win this fight. This boxing match will allow me to help her pay Manning back.

I see this as a struggle between her soul and Manning’s deep obsession. His eyes look deadly today, and his only goal no matter what is to get her sight back, and more if his continued insertion in her life is anything to go by.

Yeah I did call a truce by giving Evangeline my word not to engage Manning, but I will protect her in any way I feel necessary. Manning can come at me, I can handle it. But his emotional outbursts need to stop. Evangeline believes in him, and I won’t let her know about Manning's and our bad blood right now. That can wait. The important thing is that she gets some rests and regains her fighting spirit. My job is clear to be there for her and only her. What ever it takes!

Cristian

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Man this day has been long, but finally got some good news. Evangeline may get her sight back. We won’t know until the bandages come off though. Manning approached the eye doctor, who couldn’t or wouldn’t give him a definite answer. Even he doesn’t know if the surgery was successful, and I am still concerned about the surgery being done without her being examined and consulted first, but it is what it is. The surgery was performed. I tried to get the nurse to let Layla in to see Evangeline. If I can’t be there it would make me feel better if her sister was in with her. I’m not even going to deal with the Manning factor you know how I feel about him.

I tried in every way I know to visit Evangeline the right way, but I can’t wait. I feel she needs me, and so I had to take the first opportunity to slip into her room. She looked so fragile and small in that bed I just want to hold her to make everything right for her. I did mean it when I said I wished I’d have stopped the fight with Manning, and had I known the outcome I’d have stopped right away.

Evangeline heard me ask her to come back to me, and I think she heard me tell her I love her. You know when bad things happen good sometimes comes from it. I’d just told her before all this I was falling well I’m in love with her no doubt about it. I feared she’d be paralyzed. And then not knowing if she’ll get her sight back put everything in perspective. Her life is my life, my heart beats with hers, and if I ever doubted it, I don’t now. Evangeline asking me not to leave pulled at my heart, and so I sat back down letting her know what had happened to her…then it slipped out I told her my heart, “I love you,” then she told me hers she loved me too.

I know I’m blessed, not many get a chance at being in love or loved, but we did. I’m not going to mess it up. I may make mistakes I’m human but my first priority is Evangeline, and keeping her safe. Making sure she knows I love her, and I’m here for her as long as she needs me. I didn’t expect our friendship to lead us to this place, but I’m not sorry it did. Evangeline ‘My Tigre’ is a beautiful and loving woman, and that she fell for me well…there are no words except “I’m blessed.’

Now the waiting begins again, will Evangeline get her sight back, and if she doesn’t how will she deal with it? How will I be able to help her deal with it? We have a good thing between us. Our relationship was built on trust, loyalty and devotion, with that grounding us, I couldn’t help but think we’ll be okay. Time will tell.

Cristian

Monday, July 24, 2006

Okay I lost it, and hit Manning. I couldn’t help it. He was standing there looking all smug when Evangeline was in the OR fighting for her life…I couldn’t help myself. I hit him before I could stop myself. Layla was right fighting isn’t going to help Evangeline. It may make me feel better for a moment but that’s all. The only thing I can’t take back is the truth, and that is if anything happens to her Manning is a dead man.

Right now I can’t think about him. Evangeline’s chances sound good; they repaired the injury with surgery then did the surgery on her eyes. I pray that this surgery is successful, despite her being operated on by a man who hadn’t seen her till this very day.

I don’t want to think about how this will impact Evangeline if this operation fails. Even if it we’ll mean thanking Manning, and having him standing their smirking with a look of “I told you so.” all over his face. I don’t really care about that. What matters is Evangeline, and her recovery and the getting her sight back. I just want this nightmare over. I want her back in my arms safe and sound, and I don’t really care if Todd Manning or the devil brings her back to me. I just want her safe and well.

Idiot I am. I should have thrown Todd out the minute he burst through the door, but hey that wasn’t my call. If I’d known the outcome I’d of taken the hit from Evangeline, and happily been put out later for overstepping my bounds, but in life you don’t get to go back and do different. You just don’t.

The hardest thing to do is just to wait and watch. Of course Todd got in to see Evangeline when even her sister couldn’t. That really pissed me off. I’m okay as long as I know she is through the worse I can deal. Manning is another story like it or not he is inserting his carcass in Evangeline’s life, and for now I’ll deal but not for long. Evangeline is free to have whomever as her friend but from now on Manning is going to be watched and closely. Nope I don’t fear him; I’m concerned about him being around Evangeline. She may trust him but I don’t. Never will. And after this I wish him well out of Llanveiw but I’ll deal.

Evangeline come back to me! Don’t sleep too long. I need to hear your voice and know for a fact you’re okay. I promise I will not let you down again, not ever again.

Cristian