Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Man this day has been long, but finally got some good news. Evangeline may get her sight back. We won’t know until the bandages come off though. Manning approached the eye doctor, who couldn’t or wouldn’t give him a definite answer. Even he doesn’t know if the surgery was successful, and I am still concerned about the surgery being done without her being examined and consulted first, but it is what it is. The surgery was performed. I tried to get the nurse to let Layla in to see Evangeline. If I can’t be there it would make me feel better if her sister was in with her. I’m not even going to deal with the Manning factor you know how I feel about him.

I tried in every way I know to visit Evangeline the right way, but I can’t wait. I feel she needs me, and so I had to take the first opportunity to slip into her room. She looked so fragile and small in that bed I just want to hold her to make everything right for her. I did mean it when I said I wished I’d have stopped the fight with Manning, and had I known the outcome I’d have stopped right away.

Evangeline heard me ask her to come back to me, and I think she heard me tell her I love her. You know when bad things happen good sometimes comes from it. I’d just told her before all this I was falling well I’m in love with her no doubt about it. I feared she’d be paralyzed. And then not knowing if she’ll get her sight back put everything in perspective. Her life is my life, my heart beats with hers, and if I ever doubted it, I don’t now. Evangeline asking me not to leave pulled at my heart, and so I sat back down letting her know what had happened to her…then it slipped out I told her my heart, “I love you,” then she told me hers she loved me too.

I know I’m blessed, not many get a chance at being in love or loved, but we did. I’m not going to mess it up. I may make mistakes I’m human but my first priority is Evangeline, and keeping her safe. Making sure she knows I love her, and I’m here for her as long as she needs me. I didn’t expect our friendship to lead us to this place, but I’m not sorry it did. Evangeline ‘My Tigre’ is a beautiful and loving woman, and that she fell for me well…there are no words except “I’m blessed.’

Now the waiting begins again, will Evangeline get her sight back, and if she doesn’t how will she deal with it? How will I be able to help her deal with it? We have a good thing between us. Our relationship was built on trust, loyalty and devotion, with that grounding us, I couldn’t help but think we’ll be okay. Time will tell.

Cristian

Monday, July 24, 2006

Okay I lost it, and hit Manning. I couldn’t help it. He was standing there looking all smug when Evangeline was in the OR fighting for her life…I couldn’t help myself. I hit him before I could stop myself. Layla was right fighting isn’t going to help Evangeline. It may make me feel better for a moment but that’s all. The only thing I can’t take back is the truth, and that is if anything happens to her Manning is a dead man.

Right now I can’t think about him. Evangeline’s chances sound good; they repaired the injury with surgery then did the surgery on her eyes. I pray that this surgery is successful, despite her being operated on by a man who hadn’t seen her till this very day.

I don’t want to think about how this will impact Evangeline if this operation fails. Even if it we’ll mean thanking Manning, and having him standing their smirking with a look of “I told you so.” all over his face. I don’t really care about that. What matters is Evangeline, and her recovery and the getting her sight back. I just want this nightmare over. I want her back in my arms safe and sound, and I don’t really care if Todd Manning or the devil brings her back to me. I just want her safe and well.

Idiot I am. I should have thrown Todd out the minute he burst through the door, but hey that wasn’t my call. If I’d known the outcome I’d of taken the hit from Evangeline, and happily been put out later for overstepping my bounds, but in life you don’t get to go back and do different. You just don’t.

The hardest thing to do is just to wait and watch. Of course Todd got in to see Evangeline when even her sister couldn’t. That really pissed me off. I’m okay as long as I know she is through the worse I can deal. Manning is another story like it or not he is inserting his carcass in Evangeline’s life, and for now I’ll deal but not for long. Evangeline is free to have whomever as her friend but from now on Manning is going to be watched and closely. Nope I don’t fear him; I’m concerned about him being around Evangeline. She may trust him but I don’t. Never will. And after this I wish him well out of Llanveiw but I’ll deal.

Evangeline come back to me! Don’t sleep too long. I need to hear your voice and know for a fact you’re okay. I promise I will not let you down again, not ever again.

Cristian

Friday July 21, 2006

Nightmares are worse when you live them. Finding Evangeline at the bottom of those stairs just made all my fears unrealized come true. Justthe thought of going on in this world without her, her smile, her laugh and her touch. When we rushed to her upon hearing her scream; I insisted that Todd not touch her, and called 911. This was the longest wait of my life, prison seemed like a picnic compared to seeing her beautiful body crumpled and unmoving. Hope what is that? It seems that like everytime my life just seems to go right crap happens.

Finally she's in emergency, and yes I threatened Manning, and I mean every word, if Evangeline doesn't make it his funneral will be next. I can't believe that one man can cause so much turmoil, and to think I was happy for him and his family that he was saved. Well not happy but relieved. Even though I dislike the man and his hidden agenda's even I had to feel for him paying for a crime he didn't commit.

My instincts were right Manning is an accident waiting to happen every time he comes around, and Evangeline just can't see it. All she sees is her good friend Todd, all I see is a manipulative SOB. That's not my issue right now. Instead of him allowing the doctors to just operate to save her life he insist that she recieve surgery on her eyes. Which I know she would want, but not like this. Evangeline isn't the type of woman that likes decision's made for her. I should know. The kicker is Manning is good, he got the eye doctor to contact Evangeline's family, and the surgery is a go. Now I just have to pray that she survives both and comes out of this nightmare well again.

I'll be honest if she doesn't make it all bets are off Manning is mine, and I'll not stop until he pays for what his actions caused, and no I won't forget that I hold some responsibility. I should have never let Manning get me to go off, and if that one mistake costs me the woman I love, he'll pay. I'll pay more because my life isn't worth damn without her to share it, and that is what I have to deal with in my nightmare. Someone anyone wake me, and tell me this is dream, it has to be.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Today started off so well. Evangeline and I started the day at the festival and things seemed to be going so well. I was happy to hear that their was real hope that she would be able to see. That coupled with the knowledge that the cost would be substantial. I understand her need to do this on her own, but feeling as I do about her I need to do all I can to see that she has all the support she needs. So I called Vincent to make sure he was still setting up the title fight.

I didn't expect to run into my doctor, and finding out that I need to see him before I commit to a any more fights. Even though I am now more determined than ever to go through with the fight. Evangeline had every right to be pissed at me for one staying away so long, and for keeping the plans I had to help her from her. Evangeline thinks it is about pity, that's crap. I need to be able to help her get her sight back because that is what she wants. I saw her expression when she told me there was a light at the end of the tunnel and she would see it. I care enough to help her dreams come true.

I didn't expect to blurt out that I was falling in love with her, I know for her it may be way to soon, but when she said she was falling for me I felt like I'd been given an unexpected gift from heaven. Evangeline is the reason I get up with a smile, and have found happiness again, and I now know she is where I am. I'm one lucky man. Todd busting in made my blood boil, but I remained calm until I saw he didn't want to exit gracefully, and was determined not to hear Evangeline's request to leave. I shouldn't have argued with him. I should of just thrown him out and was about to when suddenly I heard a scream....